Chapter 10
Flashback Continues…
Niccolo Point of View
Huff, why is this so complicated?
I was hoping for something and the situation turned to something else completely. And I know who the reason behind it was.
Leonardo!
If he did not speak to Bella that way in the restaurant and infill her brain with useless feed, then she would’ve not done what she did.
I was angered by her actions, no doubt but I was more hurt than angry. It hurt me to see her put herself through the struggle because of what people said around her. She knew I would never touch her until we have deep feelings for each other still she resorted to allure me into a sexual relation.
She is not completely wrong though.
Damn, sometimes I curse myself for understanding her predicament as well. I just don’t want to care about anything and lash out without turning back but it seems to be a hard task when Bella was involved.Property © NôvelDrama.Org.
In these years of us together, if there was one thing that I am still trying to work my best on, is to teach her not to care about what the world thinks. People who don’t know her, who are not her, will never understand her.
People are like eagle, always waiting for the meat and they will just tear limb to limb when they see one. So it is always better to do what is right for you not caring about anyone.
Because, now a days, there is hardly a person who cares about another person genuinely without expecting any gain.
I know Bella always has this inferior and disgusting overview on herself and it is reasonable for a person in her place to be that way. I understand, what I don’t know is how to help her get out of such impression.
How do I make her understand that she need not be considerate about me and do something she doesn’t want to?
“You know, what Leo said that day to Phoebe was not completely wrong.” Valdimir said breaking my thoughts about the serious personal issues.
“Vald, we are not discussing about that again.” I said gruffly cutting off what he was saying. “He blatantly insulted her. He was rude to her and the worst part is he does not even know what kind of person she is. Just because she is poor and situations disabled her ability to save herself from danger doesn’t mean she is a loose woman or a wicked woman trying to trap me.” I shouted out in aggravation.
I am not hearing it again. Vald is not as cruel as Leo in expressing his opinion but I don’t want to hear their nonsense of how Bella is taking advantage of me.
“Nic, you are a Russo and the responsibility of the whole family empire is on your shoulders. Just think to yourself, is it possible for you to have a future with Phoebe?” I glared at him but he raised his hands in surrender, “Don’t let your affection for that girl clouds your rational thinking. I know you have feeling for her more than a best friend should have, but why putting your hopes on something which would definitely crumble down no doubt?”
I sighed deeply and rubbed my head with increasing headache. I am already drained out of energy due to the recent fight I had with Bella and Vald I only adding to it.
“But Love is not something that starts with thinking. Brain has no involvement in loving a person. If I love a person after carefully thinking about future consequences and gains, then it is nothing but a job I do in office.” I retorted. Vald nodded his head as if trying to understand what I said.
“No doubt it is, Nic. I know Phoebe is an innocent and a precious girl and she is genuine towards you, I understand it but tell me one thing, you will have her to yourself until the contract with the house is expired, however then what?” He looked intensely at me and enunciated every word of his question which I don’t have answer for.
What then?
What will happen after that?
“What will you do when the contract period is over? How will you keep her with you? Even if you really have her somehow, then what about your future wife and future family? What will you explain them? Will you tell them to accept her as your best friend or as your mistress? Will they ever let her live peacefully?” He questioned me which I have no answer for yet. “Hell, will you even be able to look at another woman once you get deep with Phoebe?”
Truthfully, I wonder the same.
What will be my future with Bella? Will we ever have a future at all?
I do not have any answer to what Vald asked and what I didn’t like is I doubt the same too. What will happen when this love blooms every day?
“I don’t know yet.” I answered brusquely having thoughts of my own. I shook my head to block all the negative thoughts that started fogging my mind.
Why am I unable to answer him? I know I love Bella and I know it will only grow with passing time then shouldn’t I be happy to find the right lady?
This is the right time for both of us, she is my right lady but why do I still feel that something is not right all these years with her?
“And you will not have an answer to it ever, Niccolo. You, Leo and I have been friends since first grade and it is our duty to shake the reality into you. When you know the consequences of your actions, when you know those consequences are not favorable to you and you would only get hurt in the end, then isn’t it better to keep yourself and the other person safe, away from it. Like said, better be safe than sorry, so I will leave it to yourself to take the decision.” He said patting my shoulder a few times before leaving me to consider everything he said.
The anger I initially had on Bella due to her recent seduction decision dissipated when I placed myself and her in the future circumstances.
What am I doing? Am I really a fool to see a future with her together?
Vald’s speculation hit straight into the target. Am I only lucky enough to have her as a friend? Carrying Russo responsibility on me after everything that happened in my family, I am expected to maintain its heights without tainting its reputation.
On the other side, whatever people may think, I do not consider Bella as a bad mark. A person with a pure heart like her will never be a stain.
I paid off her debts already so she will only be mine until the contract ends and I assume the House would not go against the rules and against me and try underhand things with her.
Now that the girl I liked and love is out of danger, should I leave her?
Thinking about it calmly, I guess thinking does occupy a place in Love. If I still hang on to the love and pursue her, I will put her in misery once the years of her services to me ends.
How did it happen that a girl I don’t know anything about suddenly crashed to my life and easily took an important place in my heart?
Is it a curse for either of us to love?
Loving her only hurts me but receiving that same love from her will put her into agony her whole life. I can bear the pain myself but if the same pain hits her, then I cannot tolerate it.
Should I really distance myself from her?
Should I keep her away from misery by keeping myself far from her?
But first, can I even stand staying away from her?
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