Chapter 20
Joshua inhaled sharply while popping open the buttons of his coat. He stood straight facing the mirror and sighed. He knew he had to talk to Grace about it before it ate him up completely.
“I can do it.” Joshua mumbled to himself in his quiet office.
Fear of rejection and insulting words from Grace perched into his heart and he swallowed his saliva instantly. His hands ran over his hair and back to the collar of his coat.
How the hell did he and Helen do all that?
And something in him knew it was because he was drunk. He hated what he did and his head hurt while reminsicing on it.
Now he couldn’t face Grace. How could he? How on earth would he look her in the damn eye and explain how he slept with Helen just because he was drunk?
His hands danced with the water bottle that sat on the oak table and he unconsciously bit his bottom lip.
Sadness enveloped him like a sudden darkness and he was afraid of drowning in it. He was having a forbidden relationship with Grace, his patient. He was physically and emotionally attached to her but he didn’t expect the whole Helen thingy.
Helen was hot. Extremely hot. She was his best friend and that was it. He was well aware of how fucking sexy she was but a drunken mistake made him fall into this mess.
He needed the balls to tell her. Just a single pound of courage to tell her what he had done. Her reaction would definitely terrify him but pretending that if never happened would make it a lot worse.
Guilt would start to eat his heart out and then he would be unable to think. Joshua rubbed his eyes once again and crossed his arm over the other.
He sighed again and his head jerked back, touching the chair’s head rest and his mind began to travel once again, ignoring his environment.
****
“Are you good? You look pale?” Helen heard Clark say as he entered her office, holding out a Starbucks espresso.
Helen lifted up her head and shut her eyes for a moment. Her mind was completely clouded by Joshua. He had been avoiding her ever since they had drunk… sex. She didn’t know whether to call him or just let nature take control. A smile etched on her face when she remembered Grace’s facial expression when she told her about she and Joshua having sex. She wanted to rub it all on her and now she just felt miserable.
The smile wore off and transformed into a frown.
Her eyes searched Clark’s. All she saw was lust. She sighed heavily, inhaling the fresh air that filled her nostrils. Their relationship was purely sex and she knew the Starbucks Coffee on her table was just an excuse for him to reveal his true intentions. It had been going on for several months and she knew she just had to stop.Content rights belong to NôvelDrama.Org.
“What do you want?” Helen asked as she watched him collapse on a chair.
“I… just came to see you.” Clark responded with a wink.
Helen scoffed, “Or you could just say that you’re horny. ”
There was an uncomfortable silence between the duo as Helen wrapped her ponytail into a bun while Clark simply focused his gaze on the ceiling.
“W-Why do you think that?” Helen heard him say.
“Because that’s all you want, Clark,” Helen spoke as she brought out files from her drawers, “You don’t give a shit about me unless it’s sex. You just want to fuck me, don’t you? I’m just your… whore. ”
“No,” Clark said, “We are just in a complicated relationship…..”
Helen cut in with a raised brow, “W-What relationship? We both don’t have anything in common…. except sex.”
“That’s because you only see me as a fuck toy, Helen,” Clark responded, pain evident in his voice, “I know you have… feelings for Joshua. You literally are his best friend because you are not his… type and….”
“Stop.” Helen warned. His words sent a crippling pain down her nerves, making her legs stiff. Goosebumps graced her neck and hands, revealing her anxiety.
“-But you know what. You have never given me a damn chance, Helen. You know how I have felt around you since we started medical school and all you… do is use me.”
Helen bit her bottom lip, “You are petty, Clark.” Her hands balled into a fist. His confession was as clear as water but Helen was impatient and volatile. What feelings was Clark talking about?
He had asked her out twice while they were still in medical school and she turned him down harshly. Now, she only had sex with him because it relieved and washed away her worries.
“Petty? Or you just don’t want me in your life, Helen?”
“Clark, I don’t have time for this, okay? It’s evening and I honestly just want you out of my office. ” Helen ordered.
“Really?” Clark rose up on his feet and Helen swallowed a globe of saliva as he advanced towards he, taking quick strides.
“W-What are you…..”Her words were stuck in mid-sentence when Clark gave her a kiss, just as innocent. Just a little one and then a second kiss. Knowing that Helen didn’t move, he kissed her a third time. Their lips lingered and pressed harder, sucking just a little. He briefly sucked her upper lip and then kissed her again. They opened their mouths at the same time and her tongue brushed against his mouth.
“Mmmmm…” Helen’s sweet voice moaned as her tongue danced deep inside his mouth. She brushed it across his throat as he ground against her. Their lips smacked loudly and their heavy breathing echoed through the quiet room.
What was she doing? Why was her body responding to his kiss? Why did she feel a tingling feeling in her lower body?
He kissed her cheek and Helen arched her head back, closing her eyes. So he kissed her neck, sucking on the warm flesh as she panted beneath him. His hands unbuttoned her blouse and he pushed them aside, throwing them onto the floor. Dazzled by Clark, Helen watched as he undid the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. And the way he looked at her — like a predator about to ravish his prey. She trembled with arousal, watching him take his shirt off all the while he looked down at her like a man getting ready to devour a feast prepared just for him. Clark gently dropped her on the table and if there was anything Helen was grateful about, she was happy that the room was sound proof.
He kissed down her chest to her cleavage. He kissed where her freckles rested at the bottom of her left breast. He kissed them again before moving lower. Helen touched his warm chest and she heard him groan in pleasure. She was about to remove it when she heard Clark whisper with his head buried at the crook of her neck;
“P-Please don’t. Don’t… do that, Helen. Just today….”
Helen mashed her lips together. She wanted him. Hell, she wanted to ride him. But why didn’t she feel this tension when she and Joshua had sex? Why did their drunken sex feel so rushed?
With Clark, it was as if she was at her peak of euphoria. She moaned as he reverently touched a hand to each breast, gently running his hands over, around, and under them. He squeezed them gently, pulled lightly on the nipples, and then leaned forward and rested his head on them.
“Damn, your nipples….” Clark started, “They are so enticing.”
Helen tried to suppress another moan.
Leaning forward, Clark took a nipple into his mouth; his hands were still on her breasts, gently massaging. Sucking the nipple gently, he pulled back slightly, tugging the breast. Helen’s breath hitched and he caught her eyes briefly, and the intensity in his gaze was almost overwhelming. He looked quickly back at her tits. He sucked a bit harder; she could feel herself getting wet. For several minutes Clark suckled like a baby, still squeezing both breasts with his hands. Without warning, he took more of her breast into his mouth, and began flicking her nipple with his tongue. His eyes were closed now; he focussed intently on the sensation of the large tit in his mouth, and under his tongue. Helen’s core tingled.
Helen was about to surrender when he removed her wet panties, exposing her sensitive flesh to cold air when her mind drifted off to Joshua. Clark was about to plunge his member into her when Helen suddenly pushed him with her legs and before he could speak, she had imprinted a slap across his face.
“W-What the fuck, Helen? ” Clark exclaimed.
Helen placed her feet on the floor, the smell of lust hitting her nostrils. Her eyes darted to a shirtless Clark;
“I don’t think we should do this anymore. It’s really toxic and I honestly think all you think when you see me is sex,” Helen started, “-And yes, I am in love with Joshua and I don’t know if he would ever love me back but you really need to stop doing this.”
“You were the one who… always called me for a fuck, Helen.” Clark whispered.
“A-And I am so sorry for… leading you on. I just… needed someone to fuck. ” Helen sighed.
“Someone to fuck?” Clark replied, with his hands balled into a fist, “-I thought maybe… we could be something more than just fuck buddies, Helen. You don’t want to give me a chance and it’s really not good. Let go of Joshua. It’s been almost a decade. You had a crush on him and yet he got married. He’s not married and he’s still not into you. Don’t you get it?”
Helen crossed a arm across her naked breasts, “Leave me alone, Clark.”
“What about we… start over, Helen?” Clark asked hastily.
Helen scoffed, “Start over?”
“Yes.”
“How are we… going to start over, Clark? We will both end up having sex and that’s how our cycle will continue. We don’t have anything in common…..”
“What about if we do? We have never talked about what I like or what you like.” Clark rebuffed.
Helen bit her bottom lip and stared at Clark with glossy eyes, “You like me because of my body. That’s what attracts you… to me. ”
“No,” Clark shook his head, “You are so fucking smart, Helen. You are a great doctor and you are really nice. ”
“Do you even… know me?” Helen gasped as she tried to hold in the incoming tears, “I-I sleep with some of my patients. I sometimes seduce… them. I am… a whore and I don’t think those words should be coming from you. ”
“I know you.” Clark spoke as he wore his clothes slowly, his gaze refusing to leaving hers.
Helen pouted as her eyes were now glossier than ever. Her throat was itching to cry and she didn’t want Clark to see her tearing up.
She watched as he walked towards her, holding her shoulders.
“I will never stop… loving you. ” She heard him whisper before he took his leave and at once all she wanted was to melt against his body and hear him say those words, over and over.
The words she craved from Joshua.
I know it’s a being a while since I updated.
I hope to see your comments though.
What do you think about Helen and Clark. Do you think she’s scared to open her heart up to him because of Joshua or is it because she feels guilty about using him for sex?