47
LAURA
The car was pin drop silent.
I was too tired to ask where he was taking me and was mainly still reeling from how drastically the night had changed. I didnt say anything even when I noticed that we were driving in the opposite direction from the side of town where I lived.
If it were any other man-literally-I would tell him to stop the car. Maybe I wouldnt have gotten into a car with him in the first place. But it was Alex, and I felt safe around him.
Alex could tie a blindfold over my eyes and I would trust him to not let me fall into a pit. Panic followed closely on the heels of that realisation. Since when did I trust men? But I was too wiped to react. Too terribly exhausted.
But maybe I didnt need to react.
It was when we were approaching a black gate that Alex broke the silence. “I probably should have asked you this before now.” I turned to him and saw him watching me. “I’m bringing you to my place. Is that okay?”
A small nod was all I gave him. Even if it wasnt, it wasnt like I could ask him to turn around right now and tale me back to mine. I was starting to care for Alex a little more than I would like and even though it made me feel like I was wearing someone else’s skin, it didnt make me want to run for the hills the way it did at the beginning.
The gates slid open for him as we neared and I took in the house we were approaching as the car drove down the long pathway.
It was a duplex, large and beautiful. It looked like a place where one came to if they wanted to rest or take a time away from everything. The heat of Alex’s eyes on my body burned as I lifted my head and took in the building.
In a few strifes, he made his way over to me, bringing his comforting warmth and smell and everything that was him. It was all all I could do to not sag against him and have him bear most of my weight.
Placing his hand on the small of my back, he ushered us towards the entrance of the house. He was treating me like I was fragile. He stopped briefly to punch in a code on a keypad beside the glass doors and only then did the door fall open.
My eyes immediately scanned the place and I came to the conclusion that the exterior was just as beautiful as the interior. Alex had spectacular taste and it showed in everything-his clothes, his car, (coughs)me, and now his house. The whole look was eye-catching without being too loud and I loved it. Undestated luxury.
I met his eyes. “Your house is beautiful.”
He gave me a small smile. “Thanks.” Then he led me up the stairs and down a long hallway. From what I could see, there were about three doors but we stopped in front of the second one and he pushed the door open. He went in and flicked the light switch, bathing the room-and himself-in light. God, he was so beautiful.
He shoved his hands into his from pockets. “The room’s never been used before but the housekeeper cleans it regularly and the sheets are changed regularly.” He said, eyes anywhere but on me. “Bathroom’s through here. It’s stocked. But there’s nothing in the closet for you to wear, so I’ll quickly get you something from my room while you’re in the shower.”
It took me a while to understand that he was ranting. Alex. Was. Ranting. And he couldnt meet my eyes.
As he made to brush past me standing in the doorway, I stopped him with my hand on his arm and realised that the muscles were tense. “What’s wrong?”
He exhaled before he turned to face me. “This is just very…new. I’ve never had anyone here.” He removed one hand from his pocket and wrapped his finger around a lock of hair that had fallen to my face. “It’s usually just me in the house and I guess I dont know how to act with someone else here.”ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .
My insides grew soft. I found myself suddenly wanting to hug him and the urge confused me. Since it wasnt something that I’d done before, I simply squeezed his arm and gave him a small smile, searching for the right words to give him but I kept coming up blank. He must have seen my struggle because he unwrapped my hair from his finger, gave me a small smile, then walked out of the room.
I exhaled a pent up breath I hadnt known I’d been holding.
Dragging a finger absently across the dresser surface, I glanced at the bed. Considering how exhausted I felt, I’d thought that the second we came in here, I’d be searching for the nearest surface to pass out on but ironically, I wasnt sleepy. Not in the slightest.
Desperate for the fresh feeling that came with taking a bath, I dropped my phone and purse on the bedside table then stripped, folding the clothes neatly on the bed before walking into the bathroom. I didnt stay long under the spray from the shower but by the time I came back out, I saw that a white T-shirt and drawstring pants were waiting for me on the bed as promised. My folded clothes, however, were nowhere to be found.
The shirt was so big, it hung down to my thighs and I really didnt need the pants anymore but since I wasnt wearing any panties, I dragged them up my legs anyway. I had to fold the pants leg up several times so that I wouldnt trip and fall when I tried to walk. All in all, by the time I was done, I was pretty sure I looked like a clown, minus the make-up.
I padded down the stairs, pausing at the sight of Alex standing in the middle of the living room. It appeared he had taken a bath too because he’d changed into an outfit similar to mine-drawstrings and a shirt. His hair was also damp.
He messed on the TV for a bit until a movie channel came on. Only then did he drop the remote on the table and turn, stopping abnruptly when he saw me.
“Hey.” His eyes swiped over me and I caught the unmistakable flare of heat in those green depths. An answering call rose up inside me, tightening my nipples into two little peaks as I continued down the stairs and rounded the couch to stand on the same side with him.
To alleviate the overall awkwardness and tension in the room, I dropped down on the couch and said merrily, “So what are we watching?”
“I have no idea what’s on right now,” Alex said as he sat next to me, but not too close that I couldnt breathe. When he spoke again, his words were soft and he sounded cautious. “Laura, I want us to talk.”
My heart sped up on my chest and the beginnings of panic began to trickle into my blood, spiking it and making me feel the urge to run. I tried to calm myself. “About what?”
His eyes grew wary as if he could already tell that I was thinking about the best possible way I could avoid this conversation. “Tonight.”
“There’s really not much to talk about.” I lied, avoiding his eyes.
Alex sighed audibly. “What have I told you about lying to me, Laura?” But I still didnt look at him. I couldnt. “I hate it when you do it. You flat out lie to my face even when it’s blindingly obvious that you’re lying. It’s not just hurtful to me, Laura. It’s insulting as well.”
I picked invisible lint off the pants. “Your ex and her fianceé joined us and she was being a bitch. That’s what happened.” The words fell out of my mouth so robotically, it didnt sound right to even my own ears.
Alex said nothing for a while and because I wasnt looking at him, I couldnt tell what he was thinking or how he was reacting to this.
“Another question. Why-”
“No, that is not how the game works.” I cut him off. “It’s my turn now.”
“This isn’t a game, Laura.” I rolled my eyes. I’d been joking after all. Mostly.
He sighed again. “Will you look at me? Please?”
“I can hear you, can’t I?”
No one was more aware of the fact that I was being incredibly childish right now than I was. But I was scared. I had an inkling what his next question was going to be and in all honesty, I didnt want to hear it. I suddenly wanted to hide inside my room, protected by the walls even if that was just an illusion. I didnt care. I’d pick it over this torture right now.
“Laura…”
Jesus. Fine.
I turned and faced him. His face softened at whatever he saw on mine and he gripped my chin gently but firmly.
“Listen to me. You can trust me, Laura. You can talk to me about anything and trust me to never use your words against you.” My lower lip trembled-from fear or tears, I wasnt sure-and he brushed his thumb across it. “You can talk to me and trust me to understand.” His eyes swiped over my face. “Do you? Trust me?”
Hell, I didnt even have to think.
“Yes.”
He smiled. A small, genuine, dazzling little thing that made his face light up and my heart squeeze in my chest. It made me want to give him more of my words just so that I’d see him smile like that again. Just so that he’d give me more of those smiles.
“Good,” he said softly. “Now tell me why you’re so averse tor relationships.”
Panic wrapped its cold, thorny hands around my throat and squeezed until I could barely breathe. “Alex, no-”
Alex’s face tightened and he looked like he was in pain. “Tell me what you’re so afraid of.”
I was already shaking my head, dislodging his hand from my chin. “I’m not-”
“Don’t tell me that you’re not afraid of the idea of commitment, Laura,” Alex snapped suddenly and I was so shocked by his outburst, I could do nothing but sit there and stare at him. “Fucking hell, do you know how frightened you look each time I bring the topic up?” He stood and began pacing, running his hand through his hair harshly. “Even right now, you look like you’ve seen a fucking ghost and I want nothing more than to let this go and remove that look from your face, but I can’t, Laura. I can’t because I need to know.” He was breathing harshly, his face a mask of frustration.
“Alex, I-” I stopped myself because I was just about to say the same thing again. That I wasnt scared of commitment which was the hugest fucking lie I’d ever told because I was and he didnt deserve me lying to him.
But why did I do it? Why did I lie to him when it wasnt like he’d ever use my truths against me?
All he’d ever done was to be accommodating. He put up with me and my bullshit. I’d done so many things that I wasnt proud of to him, had said so many hurtful things and had even tried to use him, which he’d called me out on. Yet, he was still here.
This was Alex.
He was different.
“I-” I licked my lips. My throat suddenly felt dry. Parched. “I-”
Alex returned to his seat beside me and pulled a leg up between us. “Were you hurt?”
I shook my head, sitting on top of my hands to hide the fact that they were trembling. My voice shook with nerves. “It’s not me that was hurt. It was my mother.”