Love for the Librarian

You know when they say that nine months is a long time. At some points it seemed like an eternity, other times it seemed like it was too fast. Kevin had gotten over his attitude, although he still told me every chance he could that Dylan should know. I still couldn’t bring myself to tell him. When I would video chat with him I would make sure the camera only showed my face.

Katelyn was true to her word the baby would not need anything. The room next door had been set up as a nursery, there were tons of clothes and all kinds of stuff that a baby would need. I swear she went way overboard. When I would tell her to stop she would just say, it’s cute.

Alex has been great. He is supportive. Almost too much. I just don’t feel for him the way I do for Dylan. I told him one night that we just met at the wrong time. He still hangs around. I think he might be hoping I change my mind.

I had worked out my school schedule so that I had campus classes for the first semester and then online classes my second semester. That way I wasn’t in school really when the baby was due and I would have time at home with it after the birth. It was due in February on the tenth.

A few days before the baby is due I get a call from Dylan. “Hey, baby. How are things going?”

“Fine I guess. Have you started dating yet?”

He is silent for a moment. “I went on a date tonight.”

I feel tears threaten my eyes. “Good. How was it?”

“Not you. I’m trying to do what you said babe. I just don’t think it is going to work. I kept expecting her to do something that you would do. But she wasn’t you.” I can hear a baby in the background.

“You got the baby?”

“Yeah, A little boy. He is a pain in the ass. I know I said I wouldn’t do a paternity test and just take on him, but he looked so much like someone else that I had to check. I was right, he isn’t mine.”

“But you still have him.”

“Yeah, I got attached to the little bugger. Call it an adoption. I have the papers to prove I’m not the father, but I have full custody. Brittney has no say in what I do.”

“How are you doing school?”

“I hired a nanny. She helps out. She is an older lady, loves the shit out of my son.”

“What’s his name?”

“I named him Riley.”

“No you didn’t.” I laugh.

“Yeah, I did that so if I accidentally say your name on a date I can cover it up with him.”

“No really.”

“Really that is his name. I named him that because it is a great name. I want it on my lips every day. Plus he is stubborn as hell, just like you.”

“Good, someone else to keep you on your toes.”

“Oh, he certainly does that.”

“You’re going to be a good dad.”

“You’re going to be a good mother.”

“So I am told.”

“Riley. I miss you. When can I see you? You didn’t come back over winter break.”

“Yeah, I just may not for a while. I want to give you time. I want to make sure that you still want this.”This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“Baby, I don’t know what else I can do to prove to you that I want you. I am trying to respect your wishes but it isn’t easy for me. No other girl is doing it for me.”

“Dylan, as much as I like hearing those words I just want to give this time. It has only been six months. Ok, maybe a bit more.”

“I know, I just don’t see things changing between now and the time you get back.”

“Then you will still be there, but if you aren’t I can accept that. I don’t want to hold you back in your life.”

“You can’t hold someone back when you are what they want. I love you Riley, please just think about what I said.”

“Just keep doing what I said ok.” Tears are fully running down my face now. Alex has silently snuck into the room and is laying on the bed with me. He is like a human comforter. He knows this is hard for me, but I think it is hard for him too.

“I will try. Babe, I love you.”

“I am going to rest Dylan. I have some school work that is due soon.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, about that. I have something coming up soon that is going to be a bit time consuming. I may not be able to talk as often as before. I will call you back if I don’t answer right away ok.”

“Don’t cut me out Riley.”

“I’m not, but I have this thing. Just listen ok will ya.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to you when I can.”

“Ok, Thank you.” I click the phone off.

Alex looks at me. “I noticed that he tells you he loves you every day but you don’t say it back.”

“I don’t want to give him false hope. I want him to move on.”

“Even if you won’t.”

“Even if I won’t. I’m sorry this isn’t fair to you.”

“I told you that you are a girl worth waiting for. However I think someone is more determined than I am. I think it is time for me to step aside. I will still be here for you and the baby but, I think I need to find me a girl who isn’t already spoken for. If things change in the future, then you know where to find me.”

“You mean down the hall.”

“Just close enough to check on you.”

“OWOWWWWWW.” I start clutching my side.

“What is it? Is something wrong?” Alex is in a panic.

“I think it is time.” I grunt out. “Get Katelyn.” Alex runs out of the room yelling for Katelyn and Kevin.

They both come into the room. Katelyn takes charge. “How close are they? Has your water broken?”

“I don’t know how close but close. Yeah, my water broke. It is not pretty. I am surprised Alex is dry.” I try to laugh it off. But that is short lived.

Kevin lifts me out of the bed and takes me to the tub in the bathroom. “Ok, so the books say to take our time and not panic. Let’s get you cleaned up. Katelyn you get her clothes off and run her a bath. I will strip the bed. Alex, find her some comfortable clothes, no underwear.”

I am surprised that Kevin knew this much. He leaves us in the bathroom while he pulls Alex out. You would think that Alex was the dad the way he is acting. Katelyn strips of my clothes. And starts a warm bath. We start counting contractions. They are about ten minutes apart and going pretty steady.

“When do we go to the hospital?” I moan out.

“It is supposed to be six minutes, but I think we should head now. Your water already broke that baby is coming. Plus traffic.” She leaves the room and comes back with the clothes that Alex had picked. It looks like his clothes. They will be huge on me. I guess they will be comfortable though. “I told Kevin to bring the SUV around. I have the car seat already installed in there, plus I packed the hospital bag in there yesterday. I thought we had a few more days but here we are.” Katelyn smiled. I think she is happy. I didn’t think she would be happy. She looks ecstatic.