Why Do It?
Writer
Ethan paved around his room baffled as to why Mandy could come up to such a conclusion. He wondered why she resulted into doing that to herself instead of just dealing with it. He grabbed his pocket knife and rope, placing them in his pocket about to leave when he gazed at the ropes, recalling they were going to hurt hard due to her bruise, so instead he took a piece of clothing.
He walked out of his room, and walked into her room, to find her sitting at the edge of the bed and staring outside the glass door, but her eyes looked drifted like she was thinking of something else entirely…
“Mandy,” he called and she jumped in fright staring at him with the knife and piece of clothes in his hands, causing her to stumble backward.
“Sit,” he said in a stern tone and she looked at him, noticing the anger on his face, making her shiver, as she slowly walked to the wooden chair, tears welling inside her eyes, while she sat on it with her eyes shut.
“Please,” her lips quivered, and he tied her hands to the chair, letting, without trying to hurt her at all.
He sat on the bed and pulled the chair to his side letting the leg touch, “Open your eyes, Mandy,” there was something about the way he commanded her to do it, and then she slowly opened her eyes, staring at him…
He stared at her face, taking into notice her features and noticing she looked as good as he could remember.
“How did it feel?” He paused while she looked at him confused, when he brought about his pocket knife.
“How did it feel cutting yourself?” He asked her and started to play with the knife in his hands, swinging it to his desire.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.
“Did it take it all away?” He turned his neck and looked at her, then at the marks it left on her hands. While he brought the knife closer to her face.
“What are you doing?” She asked him, ignoring the questions he had thrown at her. The knife touched her face making her close her eyes, he traced it down from her head down to her neck, while she gripped the chair in fear. And from her neck, down to her chest, using it to hit her right boobs lightly as she gasped in shock and opened her eyes.
“Relax, I’m just curious to know if this object brought you peace,” he smiled and placed the tip of his finger on it, staring at it like it was the first time he had seen one.
“Not really,” her eyes drifted while recalling what happened that day.
“Was it worth it?” He asked, noticing she had zoned out completely…
“Yes, Maybe. No,” she answered confused while her voice broke down and immediately he cut his wrist with it, letting his blood spill.
“What are you doing?” Her eyes bawled out, staring at him stunned but he went in to cut himself again, causing her to scream for him.
“Stop it! Why are you doing that?” She cried out, turning her face away and refusing to look at him. She felt all the memories flash in her head, the time she sat in the mirror, Christian trying to help her out, and how she kept cutting her wrist.
“Please stop, don’t do it,” she welled in tears and he Instead slit his hands again.
“Look at me,” he screamed at her in anger, while she shook her head, refusing to open her eyes at all.
“Look at me, Mandy,” he called in a commanding tone and slowly she opened her eyes, but still looked in the other direction.
He used the cut hands which were dripping with blood to pull her face to his, while a few droplets poured on her dress.
“Please stop,” she whimpered, scared that he was going to make her watch again and she closed her eyes, feeling better with the darkness than having to watch him do.
“Hey,” he cooed at her while she shook her head.
“Look at me, Mandy,” his voice was calmer now, and tears fell freely from her eyes.
“Does it look the same to you?” He asked her and she shook her head crying profusely. His hands found their way to her face while she kept on crying.
“Why do this?” He asked her but words didn’t come out of her mouth.
“Why cause harm to yourself? Why?” His voice broke down and she tilted her head staring at him while her tears kept pouring.
“I don’t know, okay,” she said in a pitched tone like she didn’t want to be judged anymore.
” It felt right to do so. I lost my child, my baby and at that point, it was the only thing that felt right to do. It was like my way out from the pain I felt, it just felt right,” she poured out as her chest hurt even more, he untied the rope around her hand and she held her chest wailing.
“What do you have me do? I just wanted to feel something. I was tired of the pains around my chest. I felt like a failure. I felt so stuck,” she broke down and immediately he pulled her into his embrace.
“It’s okay kitten,” he whispered, letting her cry a little longer.
“It’s okay,” he pulled away and kissed her forehead staring into her eyes while she did the same staring at him and getting lost in his gaze.
“You have beautiful eyes,” she said, not knowing when it slipped from her mouth again.
“You have beautiful lips,” he said gazing at her lips while she did the same gazing at his lips too.
She felt like time stopped as they both stared at each other with desires clearly in their eyes. She brought her face closer to kiss him but he pulled away immediately.
“I’m not your closure Mandy,” he said and stood on his feet, even though at that moment he desperately wanted to kiss her. He had yearned for her just as much as she had at that moment, but he couldn’t because he wanted to have her when she was alright. He wanted to have her completely when she was fine and felt okay hopelessly cause he didn’t know if she pulled this stunt next time he might be able to resist.
“I’ll get you something to eat and clothes,” he said and left the room, while Mandy stared at the door stunned at what just happened as she looked around the room wondering if maybe she had completely lost it…